PC ADOPTEE ALERT

Look out Esther! Here comes the Lipstick Baby Face Killer bastard.

While the City Sleeps, (1956, Fritz Lang) showing on Turner Classic as I write: John Drew Barrymore (Drew's dad) plays Robert Manners, a leather clad psycho adoptee killer suffering from identity/gender bewilderment, clearly the fault of his dull-witted adoptive mother, Mae Marsh:

Robert : When you adopted me dad wanted a boy. You wanted a girl You got neither.

Mother Manners: You're all the daughters and all the sons I never had.

Robert takes out his identity frustrations on good looking nice girls he meets on-the job as a drug store delivery boy.

Gee, where's Congress? When will the do-gooders raise the boycott flag on this? Oh, that's right. 20-year old men aren't marketable.

Is there anything better than a psycho adoptee killer?

BELTWAY "ORPHAN" WINGNUT UPDATE

In case you're wondering what Beltway Orphan Wingnuts are up to when they're not filing "official" complaints with Warner Brothers over the studio's horror movie Estonian midget adoptee psycho killer:

Cong. Jim Inhofe
Politico, July 27, 2009
GOP Headache: the birther issue
They have a point," he said of the birthers last week. "I don't discourage it. ... But I'm going to pursue defeating [Obama] on things that I think are very destructive to America."

Inhofe took a lot of heat from bloggers, so now he's explained what he really meant:

Politico, July 28, 2009
Inhofe backs off "birther" comment
The point that they make is the constitutional mandate that the U.S. president be a natural-born citizen, and the White House has not done a very good job of dispelling the concerns of these citizens,” Inhofe’s office told Greg Sargent’s Plum Line blog on Washingtonpost.com. “My focus is on issues where I can make a difference to stop the liberal agenda being pushed by President Obama.

Sen. Tom Coburn
Politico, July 27, 2009
GOP Headache: the birther issue
Worldnet Daily, has claimed for some time now that Coburn supports birthers, but he continues to sidestep the issue:

At a walk-in meeting in Sen. Tom Coburn’s Washington office, birthers gave the Oklahoma Republican’s chief of staff nine pages of documentation in support of their claims. The group later billed the meeting a success on one of Taitz’s blogs.

But when asked about the meeting, Coburn spokesman Don Tatro said that the office was simply trying to be “polite” and that “it is possible to mistake politeness for agreement.”

Cong. Michele Bachmann
Huffington Post, July 27,2008
Michelle Bachman blocks bill declaring Hawai'i Obama's birthplace
Yesterday, claiming lack of a quorum, Bachmann held up a vote on a resolution celebrating Hawaii's 50th statehood anniversary. The bill also contained language acknowledging Hawai'i as Barack Obama's birthplace. In the end she voted yes with everybody else.( Maybe the Queen of Crazy is even running from the other crazies). For the record, Bachmann also voiced quorum objections to other bills.

According to Sam Stein at the Huffington Post, the resolution, which is sponsored by Rep. Neil Abercrombie [D, HI-1] and co-sponsored by 8 Republicans, has been in the works since long before this current wave of birther conspiracy theories began picking up steam among conservatives. “Abercrombie is hoping to have it passed by the House before August recess because the real date of Hawaii statehood — August 21 — occurs while Congress is on break,” Stein reports.

NOTE: While looking up more information on the relationship between Orphan wingnuts and birthers, Bastardette fell into a pit of quicksand which would have quickly swallowed her up if not for a quick hit on the "escape" key. So, we shall leave it for now without going into the suffocating details. For those who enjoy self-mental flagellation click here for Dr. Orly Taitz's website. She makes Glenn Beck look sane.

BTW, if you haven't been following the birthers, here's a video of a confrontation between moderate Republican Mike Castle (DE) and his constituent whackjobs during a town meeting. Wonder how they feel about Little Orphan Esther?

GLENN BECK REDUX: GLENN BECK AND "BASTARD CHILDREN"

After I posted Glenn Beck: As if there's not enough reasons to loathe him, I remembered that this wasn't the first time I'd written about him. Beck goes back to the Daily Bastardette's earliest days.

In March 2005, shortly after Glenn and Tania had guided "their" son out of the wrong tummy and into the Beck Family Channel, the Terri Schiavo drama was playing out in Pinellas Park, Florida. Beck was one of the rightwing media bullies beating up Michael Schiavo for trying to get Terri's feeding tube removed. Michael's big sin, other than wanting his wife loosened from her 15-year persistent vegetative state, was moving on, living with another woman, and having two children with her.

Unlike the 14-year old "superhero who "carried his (chosen) child," and the chosen child himself, Beck found the actions and products of Michael Schiavo and his fiance sordid. Apparently, for Beck, sordid reproductive products can only be cleansed by adoption and re-birth sealing.

What's in a name--part 2: (March 29, 2005)
"Conservative" syndicated talk radio bloviator Glenn Beck, on a show broadcast March 15, the article claimed, referred to Michael Schiavo's children by his fiance Jodi Centonze as "bastard children." Whoa! Nelly!

These are small children. Very small: 2 1/2 years and 1 year old. Does Mr. Beck really believe that it's OK to call toddlers a name which is traditionally considered a dirty word--especially by rightwingers of his ilk? You bet! When called on his boorish behavior, Beck responded, "I'd feel real terrible about calling them that if I wasn't so technically correct."

Well. technically speaking....

I urge you to go to the link above to read the entire entry where you will see that Beck was not alone in mocking "bastard children" and reviling those super heroes who produce them.

ORPHAN: THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY AND BELTWAY WINGNUTS SQUEAK THE WHEEL

I was out of town for a few days and in and out of the LaLaAdoptionLand loop. As a consequence, I was only marginally aware that the Congressional Coalition for Adoption Institute (CCAI) had stuck its industrial sized nose into the Orphan brouhaha until I did a phone interview with David Crary from the Associated Press. Crary had seen my earlier blogs on Orphan and wanted my permission to quote me. He informed me that the CCAI had sent Warner Brothers CEO Barry Meyer a letter aghast over the studio's insensitivity to orphans, foster children, and adoption in general. Well, those aren't the words Crary used, but that's my translation.

After I picked myself up from my rotfl moment and dusted off the dust, (actually, I was in the middle of an outdoor courtyard at the library,) he filled me in on the details.

The letter had been signed not only by CCAI director Kathleen Strottmann, but 11 other groups including the Joint Council on International Childrens Services, American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, the Christian Alliance for Orphans, keeper of the OrphansDeserveBetter.org website I wrote about earlier, and... (surprise!) The National Council for Adoption... all of whom, in the words of Alice Roosevelt Longworth in another context, were weaned on a pickle.

Since talking to Crary I've been trying to find an official letterhead copy of the letter online. As of this writing, the letter or a link to it does not appear on the CCAI webpage, signatory pages, nor any of the news articles and blogs that reference it. Part of it, however, is included in July 18 and July 22 stories in Examiner.com, a multi-city news gathering website similar to about.com, and in Crary's article.

Examiner.com (July 18, 2009):
We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families both in the United States and abroad...

Examiner.com (July 22, 2009):

• As you no doubt know, the impending release of the Warner Brothers’ film Orphan has ignited a firestorm of controversy from those concerned that the film stereotypes adoptive children and perpetuates a myth that adopted children are not wholly integrated into their adoptive families. As an informal coalition of child, family and adoption advocates, we are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families both in the United States and abroad.

• A number of child welfare groups, individual advocates, and the Obama administration have made finding adoptive families for children in need a priority. We are concerned that the potential success of the film Orphan may impede recruitment efforts by feeding into the unconscious fears of potential foster and adoptive families that orphaned children are psychotic and unable to heal from the wounds of abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Any such negative shift in the public’s perception of adopted children could have significant, real-life consequences.

• We would also like to suggest that the controversy this movie has engendered presents a wonderful opportunity to inform the public of the shortage of foster and adoptive families. We are aware that Warner Brothers has supported numerous organizations that serve children in need of families and has exceptional policies for supporting employees who adopt. Consequently, we hope that you will consider meeting with us to discuss how the film and its subsequent DVD release can be used to increase awareness on the need to recruit families for children waiting to be adopted.

David Crary's article (July 18):

• The letter said the film "may impede recruitment efforts by feeding into the unconscious fears of potential foster and adoptive families that orphaned children are psychotic and unable to heal from the wounds of abuse, neglect, and abandonment."

• We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families both in the United States and abroad," said a letter to Meyer from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

But wait! There's more!

Earlier Warner's wimped out and removed the "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own" tagline (something every adoptee with 2 ounces of brain ruminates), after adopters screamed like they'd just had their toes cut off. Pumped up, CCAI signatories decided to push their PC luck. Smelling money from juicy potential consulting contracts, the Grundys requested a meeting with CEO Meyer to "discuss" their concerns. Think I'm kidding? According to the July 18 Examiner.com story, Warner's VP of Communications, Scott Rowe said the studio is considering a "pro-adoption" message at the end of the DVD release. Left unsaid, who better to write that message than adoption industry flacks.

But wait! There's more!

Not satisfied with Congressional Coalition's whinges, members of the US House and Senate, taking time off from healthcare reform, corporate bailouts, unemployment, and a couple of leftover BushCo wars, decided to horn in--or is that blow their horns?

Again, I have not been able to locate the official letter or link online, but excerpts appear in the July 21 edition of Examiner.com (what's with these Examiner "exclusives?).

• While we understand the movie may be intended as a far-fetched thriller, its trailer contains images and messages about adopted youth that are inaccurate.

• As almost any adoptive parent will tell you, the immediate sense of love and belonging that exists between a child and adoptive parents is on par in every way with the relationship formed between a parent and their biological child. * Furthermore, most adoptive parents would take issue with the movie's message that an adopted child is not 'one's own' since the only distinction between biological and adopted children is how they came to be a member of a family.

and a Congressional strong arm with its cryptic sentence ending regarding a "continued partnership between Congress and Warner Brothers.

• Therefore, we encourage you to continue to take steps to help us in conveying the positive and more accurate messages about US foster children and orphans worldwide outlined above. We look forward to your continued partnership in advancing this important issue.

Now, if you are unfamiliar with the players, this letter, outside of its general sociological silliness and state intrusiveness into private enterprise, might not strike you as particularly ironic or bizarre. The signers are Senators. They're members of Congress. In some obscure and morally bankrupt way they must be "respectable" and "reasonable." But take a look. The letter is signed by some of the biggest wingnuts on Capital Hill, who in a different time and place would have been clapped into a padded cell with a plastic spoon and a drool bucket or making license plates in the nearest prison. Wanker...er, we mean Warner Brothers..should have shown these dilettantes the door and let it hit their ass on the way out.

SEN. MARY L. LANDRIEU, (D -LA)
Adoption Status: Adoptive mother of 2
Bastardette disclaimer: 2005: attended a Washington DC lunch where Landrieu spoke. Memory: hot room; buffet lunch; adoption industry moguls present; intense escape fantasies. All else is a blank.

Notoriety:

• born into political family; former real estate agent
  
• NCFAnoid
• obsessive federal adopta-legislator; mother of current Protecting Adoption and Promoting Responsible Fatherhood Act of 2009 (national putative father registry)
  
• supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge; voted for Protect America Act, an amendment to the PATRIOT Act that expands wiretap powers
• Listed in The Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington advocacy group's "Top 20 Most Corrupt Members of Congress" report.

SEN TOM A COBURN, (R-TX)
Adoption status: unknown
Bastardette disclaimer: n/a

Notoriety:

• physician
• believes abortion providers should be executed
• In 1997 opposed NBC showing an uncut version of the film Schindler's List: "...irresponsible sexual behavior...I cringe when I realize that there were children all across this nation watching this program."
• In 2000 endorsed Alan Keys for president
• In 2007 threatened to block two bills honoring the 100th birthday of Rachael Carson. Called her work "junk science," proclaiming that Silent Spring was the catalyst in the deadly worldwide stigmatization against insecticides, especially DDT.

CONG. JAMES M. INHOFE (R-OK)
Adoption Status: adoptive father of 4
Bastardette disclaimer: 2002: trapped in a conference room with Inhofe during the Christian Coalition Road to Victory Conference, old Washington, DC Convention Center. Memory: blocked other than hand-waving about God and Israel.

Notoriety:

• real estate developer, president of insurance company that went into receivership
  
• was "outraged by the outrage" over allegations of abuse at Abu Gharib
• considers the Red Cross "bleeding hearts"
• in 2002 suggested to U.S. Senate that 9/11 attacks were a form of divine retribution against the U.S. for "failing to defend Israel."
  
• supports torture; voted against the Detainee Treatment Act of 2005 which prohibits "cruel, inhuman or degrading" treatment of individuals in US Government custody
• In 2006 compared environmentalists to The Third Reich; claimed the Weather Channel is behind the "global warming hoax" to drum up viewers. Says Global Warming is "the second-largest hoax ever played on the American people, after the separation of church and state.
  
  CONG. MICHELE BACHMANN, (R-MN)
• Adoption Status: Adoptive mother of "not sure." (5 children, some adopted) foster mother to 23.
  
• Bastardette disclaimer: 2008: trapped in room with Bachmann for 90 minutes while she discussed "launching her biologicals" and her vast personal expertise in foster care at the annual NCFA conference. (go here for my first-person account. Also go to Dump Bachmann for a compendium of antics from Minnesota's top nutcase.) Memory: commiseration with Bachmann's foster charges who ran away from her; intense desire to laugh out loud while throwing dessert at her.
  

Notoriety:

• lawyer; took JD from Oral Roberts University
• NCFAnoid; July 2008, spoke at national NCFA conference, Capital Hill Hyatt.
• Has fostered 23 children mostly girls; claims their problems were caused by the public school curriculum, not usual reasons children end up in foster care
  
• Supports "intelligent design;" opposes online poker.
• In 2005 announced campaign for Congress saying she was called by God. She and husband fasted for 3 days "to be sure."
• Sponsor of the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act, to repeal the nationwide phase-out of conventional light bulbs.
• In 2008. called for media investigation of members of Congress and other politicians, including Barack Obama, whom she believes are unAmerican.
• In 2008, after meeting with soulmate Sarah Palin, declared that "warmth" from a pipeline running through Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge would make the area a "meeting ground" and "coffee Klatch" for the caribou."
• In 2009 introduced a bill that would bar the dollar from being replaced by any foreign currency.
• Jauary 2009: named to The Beast's annual 50 Most Loathsome People in America.

*During NCFA talk, Bachmann continually distinguished among her bios, adoptees, and fosterees.

CONG. DANNY K. DAVIS (F-IL)
Adoption Status: unknown
Bastardette disclaimer: n/a

Notoriety:

• psychologist.
• In 1970 told Ebony Magazine, "(T)he white female often gives the black man certain kinds of recognition that the black woman oftentimes does not give him."
• Fan and apparent friend of Rev. Sun Myung Moon. In a 2004 "religious ceremony" at the Dirkson Senate Office Building, Davis wearing long white gloves and carrying a crown on a pillow, crowned Moon "the Messiah."
  
• In 2005 accepted a trip to Sri Lanka paid for by the Tamil Tigers designated by the US government as a terrorist organization for its use of suicide bombers and child soldiers.
  
  CONG JOHN BOOZMAN. (R-AR)
  Adoption Status: unknown
  Bastadette disclaimer: n/a
  
  Notoriety:
• 
  
  • optomotrist
  • adoption promoter
  • doesn't do much but take up space.

These are the people who promote themselves as pro-adoption and pro-foster care in the US today. I suppose they like to call themselves "pro-adoptee." After all, some of them have taken somebody elses bastards for their very own. These are the people who think a horror flick with an adoption theme will kill adoption in the US. These are the people who can't tell the difference between a bad movie and reality. These are the people Warner Brothers listens to. Those who hold elective office are the people who are in charge of the US economy and domestic tranquility. If they are this hetted by a B movie, just think they'd do with a real "crisis." If you are fortunate, they don't represent your district or state. If you are unfortunate, and they do, don't let them speak for you. Tell them they are dumb schmucks. Vote them out and tell them why.

The whole Orphan business has been entertaining: an adoption theatre of the absurd. Poor poor frail and fragile adoption is dead on the vine, killed by Esther and greedy Hollywood.

Orphanphobia has made the adoption industry and its overly sensitive clients a laughing stock. Just Google "Orphan" and see what people in the real world think about the professional adoption class, the Congressional Coalition, politicians, and weepie adopters grinding their teeth over this movie.

I had intended to write more in this entry about industrial media exploitation, the linguistic manipulation of Orphan. and the paranoid style of American adoption culture. It didn't fall into place, though. And the entry is getting too long and taking way too much time to write. I may still do it, because it's applicable to other adopta-situations and how criticism, dissent, and exposure, even on its most mundane and silly level, is throttled by adoption industry shills and schezoids.

GLENN BECK: AS IF THERE'S NOT ENOUGH REASONS TO LOATHE HIM

I'm working on a couple other things tonight. In the process of looking up something I found by accident Glenn Beck's adoption story.

Back in 2004 you see, Glenn and his second wife Tania were trying to have a baby when Glenn had a revelation from God: we're supposed to adopt. Tania wanted to experience the joy of pregnancy, though, and had to be convinced. After a temple trip and lots of prayer, as good Mormons do, the Becks ended up at their local L-d-S agency. Glenn announced their "adoption plan" on the radio. A few weeks later he received an email from a woman informing him her 14-year old daughter is "carrying your baby."

This is a pretty long story, and you can read it here : Families Supporting Adoption: Glen [sic] and Tania Beck's Adoption Journey. But I need to share this with you:

Glenn
Well, Chris, unbeknownst to us, checked it out for a couple of weeks. Talked to the family and made sure it wasn’t insane. And so we flew down to Texas, and we met the family, and we met with Hannah, and she said always, always, every step of the way to Tania, “I’m carrying your baby.” She just knew it. With everything in her, that baby was supposed to come to her, to Tania. She felt strongly about it. So did we. Well, so a week after we had decided, a little baby boy rushed to our arms as promised.

Tania
We were blessed to be right there in the delivery room and had him from the moment he was born, and he is just one of the joys of my life. And we know that he chose us. He just needed a different channel to get to us. The bravery and courage that that young woman had—I don’t know that I would be able to do the same thing that she did to put him first, and the great love that she had for him to place him with us so that we could raise him. He’s such a blessing in our lives. It’s like I gave birth to him; he’s my son. It doesn’t matter where the body comes from; it’s the spirit that is important, and that was connected to us and had to get to us. He just had to find another way. He was sealed to us on July 23rd of 2005, and he’s part of our family for all eternity.

Glenn
This little girl [natural mother] was a hero. She was a remarkable superhero. Raphe doesn’t need Spiderman or Superman; he’s got his natural mother as an example of what real superheroes do. Real superheroes don’t think about themselves. Real superheroes don’t make their life all about them. Real superheroes do the hard thing, and I can’t imagine anything tougher than giving birth to a child and giving that child away and then wondering your whole life what’s happening in his day.

To Glenn's credit he seems rather horrified at the harshness of the L-d-S relinquishment papers shoved under Hannah's nose, (I guess they wanted her to know how serious they are about sealing), but not enough to say hey maybe you should think about this!

And people think Esther is scary!

NEBRASKA: POST-FIASCO BABY CATCH-- 'NO QUESTIONS ASKED"

This morning The Omaha World-Herald and other Nebraska media (here and here) report that the state got its first "safe haven" catch since its new and improved law went into effect late last year. The baby, described as "a male Caucasian newborn less than 30 days of age" was dropped off by a family member at the Box Butte General Hospital in Alliance Monday night.

Nebraska's post-fiasco law permits designated dumpers to drop off babies 30 days and younger no questions asked.

Did we say no questions asked?

According to Nebraska Health and Human Services Chief Executive Officer Kerry Winterer (RIP Todd Landry), in an HHS press release:

“It’s important to gather information like family medical history to meet this child’s current and future needs,” he said.

Officials asked that anyone with information call the HHS office in Gering at 308-436-6559, the Box Butte County Sheriff’s Office at 308-762-6464, the Alliance Police Department at 308-762-4955 or the Nebraska State Patrol at 308-632-1211.

What ever happened to no shame, no blame, no name?

The press release does not appear on the state's "safe haven" page or HHS press release page. If and when it does, I'll link it here. I'll also update when Nebraska's self-servers comment on how they saved just one...

Alliance, Nebraska, population 8,959 (2000 census) is located in northwest Nebraska. Before it became Nebraska's first post-fiasco dumping ground it was known mainly for its replica of Stonehenge constructed from automobiles.

UPDATE: The HHS press release is now up. Click here.

CINCINNATI: RING AROUND THE KARMA BEGINS IN ALL-ABOUT-ME BAYBEE SKIRMISH

Adoption agencies aren't the only bad girls in the baybee making market. Take embryo brokers.

Sunday's Cincinnati Enquirer ran a front page story on the trials and tribulations of Central Texas resident and skin care consultant (?), Lori Johnson, her pursuit to reproduce artificially, and her lawsuit against Embryos Alive a "Christian" Cincinnati home business run by Bonnie Bernard, her husband Gary, and another relative (relationship unknown) Scott Hasselring. Bonnie Bernard is the founder and former executive director of Care to Adopt and Ohio Home Study She is the mother of a 4-year old adopted from Turgovishte, Bulgaria. (see bio and here for a full rundown of Bernard's activities and infertility travails).

To read the full story on the suit, click on "print." Otherwise, you'll only get the first page.

The Embryos Alive webpage is full of airbrushed white wholesome moms with airbrushed white blond blue-eyed babies, happily embedded in pink and blue pastel. The only men shown are in real-life pictures of satisfied dad customers. Below Isiah 43:5 we learn that the business "matches donor embryos with hopeful and waiting parents around the world. Much like a typical adoption where an infant or child is placed with adoptive parents, embryo adoption provides yet another option for loving families -- usually saving both time and financial resources."

Embryo's Alive's filing with the Ohio Secretary of State says its purpose is "to provide an adoption service for abandoned embryos."

If you find an ice cube tray on your porch full of melting ice cubes, call Bonnie quick. If it saves just one...

The Embryos Alive webpage includes a history of "embryo rescue," (also called "embryo amnesty"!) and a list of Christian infertility support groups. Also, and this is important for window shoppers, a directory of waiting embryos, or embies (or blasts) as Bernard likes to call them. If you see one you like, click it on and you'll get details. Personally we like the "Ella family:"

The family tried one transfer and froze the rest. They had agreed if they didn't get pregnant they would adopt which they did and have 2 adopted daughters. They forgot the embryos were in storage until the clinic contacted them.

The lawsuit filed in Hamilton County challenges what Lori Johnson calls "improper procedures" by Embryos Alive. According to the Enquirier:

Johnson alleges Bernard and Embryos Alive defamed her with false postings on the Embryos Alive online support group board, breach of contract and consumers sales laws, fraud and misrepresentation.

To make a long story short... Lori Johnson and her husband, who have already artificially replicated themselves twice with Johnson's own eggs, wanted a third baybee in quick order (their younger child was 15 months old) so the children could grow up close in age. When informed by her doctor that she did not have enough eggs for treatment, Johnson hit the 'net for help, and found Bonnie Bernard & Co who eagerly agreed, after meeting with Johnson in Bernard's Cinci home, to get her the embryos of her dreams.

Only she didn't.

Johnson accuses Embryos Alive of trying to bypass FDA regulations that require lab work be done on "donated" embryos within 7 days of harvest. Bernard reportedly forwarded health histories, but no lab work. When Johnson and her doctor in Texas complained, Bernard suggested the couple and their doctor request a waiver from FDA regs.

I'll let the Enquirer tell the rest.

"We cried. I think we didn't sleep for three nights,"Johnson said. "We were just devastated. Over the course of that week, I let myself believe I was getting five potential babies. 'Would they be boys or girls?' 'Would I have twins?'I was devastated."

Bernard (left) suggested that she seek an exemption of the FDA guidelines in her case but her doctor said he wouldn't.His small office couldn't afford to hire an attorney or deal with the bureaucracy of challenging a government edict.

That decision apparently irked Bernard.

"She told me to go to another clinic, which was horrifying to me,"Johnson said.

"She e-mailed me back and it said, 'I'm disappointed to hear this. This is the kind of thing that makes donor families leave us,'"Johnson said.

Johnson continued to e-mail Bernard, seeking other possible embryo donations. She found one donor on Embryos Alive she considered an ideal match and asked Bernard to show her profile to that family.

"She didn't say anything. She didn't return my e-mails or calls. No response at all," Johnson said.

The next day on the online group Embryos Alive uses to keep in touch with donors and those seeking embryos, Bernard posted an item Johnson is sure was about her.

In it, Bernard thanked "the Lori family" for their financial donation so it could help other families seeking embryo adoption. Johnson believed that meant Bernard was keeping her $1,910 in fees-and wouldn't be helping them adopt an embryo.

This story sounds awfully familiar. Bastardette and others have heard stories and read lawsuits about adoption agency bullying, threats and ponzi schemes for years. Why would embryo brokers be any different? Anything goes when you're in the baybee making and selling business and your customers are desperate for product. Dan and Elizabeth Case, in Beware BBAS, have documented just such behavior at Building Blocks Adoption Service in Medina, Ohio.

Lori Johnson cries out, "Give me a child, even if I already have two perfectly good children, lest I die." Unfortunately, for her ego, she gets as much sympathy from Enquirer commenters as if she'd kicked a Walmart clerk in the head for a blender at a Presidents Day sale. She's already got two kids. What more does this selfish whiney twit want? Or need?

And that's refreshing!

If unpleasantness and avarice are prerequisites for embryo brokering, Johnson and Bernard are a perfect match.

Ring around the karma!

BIRTHERS AT IT AGAIN: BOUNTY ON OBAMA'S BC

The Birthers are at it again! You know. Those Rushista racists, crackpots, and sore losers convinced that Barack Obama was born in Mombassa, not Honolulu. You know. Those troglodytes who disbelieve the State of Hawai'i's statement explaining its birth records access law and assuring inquiring minds that yes, indeedy, Mr. President was born there. Not satisfied, in March Florida Republican Rep Bill Posey introduced HR 1503, requiring all future presidential candidates to divvy up their bc to prove they are good ol' amurkans. Unlike Obama.

Bill summary:

To amend the Federal Election Campaign Act of 1971 to require the principal campaign committee of a candidate for election to the office of President to include with the committee’s statement of organization a copy of the candidate’s birth certificate, together with such other documentation as may be necessary to establish that the candidate meets the qualifications for eligibility to the Office of President under the Constitution.

Now comes well-known crackpot Joe Farah, who runs the well-known crackpot World-Net Daily to up the ante. He's offering $10,000 "to anyone who can provide persuasive evidence of involvement or presence at that birth – whether it took place in Hawaii or elsewhere."

To collect the bounty, the "subject" must

1. Agree to an interview with WND journalists;
2. Provide persuasive evidence, such as pictures, documents or verifiable details;
3. Agree to a polygraph test

Individual Worldnet readers are also encouraged to donate to the reward fund to fatten up the kitty.

"Where's the birth certificate" billboards are going up, too, and for $5.00 you can get your own "where's the birth certificate" yard sign. Hmm, that's an idea. No, on second thought....We want OUR birth certificates, not somebody else's.

Unfortunately, Worldnet does not allow comments or it would have a big fat comment from Bastardette.

The Examiner.com posted its own article on the subject, $10,000 bounty for any witness to Obama's birth, much of it taken from Worldnet, featuring a cute pic of Obama as an 8 something and more crackpottery from Farah. There's also a bonus video of crackpot Alan Keyes yattering that Obama is a "radical communist, " which is news to Bastardette. Every Marxist we know considers Obama a Bush-lite and whingy DINO.

This evening Bastardette sent the following comment off to The Examiner:

6,000,000 adopted persons in the US today are denied access to their own original birth certificates. Adoptees are routinely denied passports, pensions, government entitlements, driver's licenses, professional certifications, security clearances, and other normal documents and government favors due to their lack of an original birth certificate. The "amended birth certificate--the state-forged document issued at the time of their adoption finalization that changes the name,parents' names, and sometimes date and place of birth are rejected for the fake documents they are. I have yet to see birthers complain about this. But then, none of those adoptees is a president or candidate they loathe. If the birthers keep up their insane campaign and win, some of those 6,000,000 adoptees could be denied the opportunity to be president or any other elected position birthers decide is worthy of a birth certificate because the states of their births have sealed the birth records.

Ironically, birthers and their ilk are in the forefront of keeping birth certificates sealed. It really is amusing to hear the great birther whine about not being allowed to see someone else's birth certificate, when adopted people aren't allowed, under law, to see their own. Cry me a river, birthers. If Hawaiian adoptees can't get their own birth certificates, why should you be allowed to get a perfect stranger's?

That comment, with a small change, is identical to a comment I posted on Politico a few days ago earlier under Glenn Thrush's Birther Republican running risks?. In fact, I've sent off boiler plate responses to birther rants in numerous newspapers and blogs and (surprise!) received the sounds of silence (and not my old friend) for my trouble.

With one exception: "Dr. Cathy," who we assume is not a reading comprehension specialist, on Politico, (I'm only posting the relevant part. Go to Politco for the full bizarre remark):

Dr Cathy:
If as you adoptees claim above that you cannot get your hands on your adopted birth certificate, not your original, through your own admission, does this not point to the fact that 0bama is unable to produce his original birth certificate because it was sealed? Like yours are. And if his is sealed then would that not demonstrate that we was indeed legally adopted by his second father, Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian citizen? If 0bama was adopted, as many believe he was, at the age of 4, he would have automatically acquired Indonesian citizenship according to the laws that govern Indonesia. If he was adopted after the age of five, Lolo would have had to outright adopt him, through Indonesian Court of Law, in order for him to receive any state benefit such as an education. His parents paid for his private elementary school education but he attended state run school before returning to the US. So, we know for a fact that he is a dual national - USA and British, and now, as evidenced by your own comments, he was adopted and his original birth certificate was sealed, then he also became an Indonesian citizen, right? So now he has three loyalties - British, Indonesian and USA. Hello?????? The constitution says "natural born" NOT tri national or even dual national or native citizen, but natural born. Why is this so difficult for many of you to comprehend? And why is it so damned difficult to get you, the press,

Unfortunately, comments are disabled after 3 days and I didn't get around to replying. I'm sure the subject will come up again, though.

Who, however, really wants to get into a tiresome discussion on short and long form birth certificates, sealed records, raised seals, and who knows what other bureaucratic abominations, especially with crackpots who aren't concerned that the birth certificates of 6.000,000 US citizens are confiscated by the government and replaced with forgeries. That 6,000,000 US citizens can be denied services that the non-adopted receive for the asking. That 6,000,000 US citizens with their degraded legal status are a ticking time bomb under the national security state that the birthers and their ilk have created over the last 60 years.

You'd think the idea that 6,000,000 US citizens being denied their own birth certificates would trigger some kind of "patriot" response as well...unAmerican. Oh, that's right! None of us is a president they hate. Yet. What would happen if a bastard with sealed records ran for president? What would they say then? I guess it would depend on the bastard's politics.

MORE REACTION ON LAB SPERM: I NEVER HAD SEX WITH ...

As Bastardette wrote earlier, the news out of Newcastle about lab sperm and its potential is repulsive and antithetical to the right of identity. We all know by now, to paraphrase BB Church, once something becomes institutionalized, it become normalized. Today "understanding sperm" will lead to a cure for male infertility for some. Tomorrow, it will be a handy source for making anonymous baybees for the entitled.

That aside, we knew it wouldn't take long for the Save the Males Brigade to gouge out their brains over the thought of independent little swimmers making their way through the female reproductive system without on-site male mechanics to navigate the channel.

In his Culture Watch blog entry, Redundant Males, Redundant Humanity, born-in-the- USA Australian "family values" goody-two-shoes Bill Muehlenberg winges that Newcastle lab sperm and women who sell their eggs to science are about to make men "more redundant than they already are." (my emphasis). Apparently Muehlenberg, an Australian Family Association poobah, views men as sex machines whose only job is to inseminate women--within the bonds of holy matrimony, of course. Once that job is gone, men are as worthless as an old piece of chewing gum stuck to the bedpost over night. Mrs. Muehlenberg, if there is one, should ask her husband to move the piano or clean the basement to give him a purpose in life outside of his blog. (For mental machosists reading this, go through Muehlenburg's blog. He also believes that Western Christianity is a "Church in exile" held captive by the new Babylonian coalition of "radical feminists" Islamists, queers, and politically correct nannies. You might also check out the AFA's definition of family. )

Muehlenburg writes of the Newcastle sperm project:

A number of problems come to mind, including the obvious: if scientists can now manufacture sperm, that simply makes males even more redundant than they already are. The social result is similar to what we get with parthenogenesis, or procreation by one sex alone. This might be good for amoebas, but it is not good for human beings, and certainly not good for the children who come about by such a process. Children need fathers, not just sperm manufacturers and donors.

Granted Muehlenberg goes into bioethical issues involving artificial-life creation, a couple legitimate, others not ("exploitation" of embryos) but overall his Inner Crybaby's lament over the disgorgement of patriarchy by little swimmers is amusing and ultimately embarrassing. Talk about thinking with your dick!

Cyberspace News Service: the Right News, Right Now! (the old Conservative News Service) takes it a step further.

CNS starts off by blither-blathering about the 2008 Canadian film mockumentary, The Baby Formula, produced and directed by Alison Reid and written by Richard Beattie, who collaborated previously in Succubus, (2006) a short featuring the same main characters in an earlier conception attempt. The plot of Baby Formula (if taken seriously) boggles Bastardette's poor mind more than a hundred Little Orphan Esthers ever could:

A new Canadian movie tells the tale of two lesbians who become pregnant through in vitro fertilization. They use their own eggs -- and sperm created from each other’s stem cells -- making each the mother of their own child and the “father” of their partner’s."

But then CNS says, Never Mind! The Newcastle research differs from this send-up and there's really no connection between it and lab sperm except we wanted to trash women in general and uppity lesbians in particular. Well, nobody at CNS said the last half of that sentence, but that's what they meant:

The difference between the researchers’ accomplishment – published Wednesday in the journal Stem Cells and Development – and the one depicted in the movie, however, is a significant one: Nayernia’s team was able to produce IVD sperm from stem cells with male (XY) chromosomes. When it tried to do so with female (XX) chromosomes they were prompted to form early-stage sperm, but failed to progress further. “This demonstrates to researchers that the genes on a Y chromosome are essential for meiosis and for sperm maturation,” they said in a statement.

Well, that's good to know! Women, at least for the immediate future, won't be able to impregnate themselves, like they do in the movies, with their own sperm or some other woman's. They'll just have to use the old fashioned male variety, identified or anonymous. Or, we assume, in a pinch, the desperate and spermless will just have to adopt, identified or anonymous.

What would Mary Shelley, who had her own issues with men trying to have babies, make of all this? It would certainly take more than a fortnight to work out.

I originally wanted to tie this all in to current adoption and ART secrecy and practice, but Bastardette hasn't the time or energy today. That's what bioethicists are for anyway It seems, though, that lab sperm and artificial wombs, which haven't come up in this conversation at all (don't they make women redundant?), are the obvious answer for all those people of various sexual and gender configurations and relationships who want to keep the origins of their mini-me's a secret from the world and their replicants.

We're confident that the adoption industry will find ways to integrate new repro technology and at the same time perpetuate its duty to child cravers and their secret lives. The industry has already made great strides in "adopting" embryos and surrogacy into their humanitarian aid package. Why not add artificial wombs (with the rent to buy option) and on-site artificial sperm manufacture (made to order, mix and match) and injection?

I never had sex with that woman! I never had sex with that man!

Below is The Baby Formula trailer.

LOSING YOUR DAD IS SCARY ENOUGH

I may write more about l'affaire Michael Jackson, but I want to wait to see what Debbie Rowe does before I go at it again. If she's a decent human being, she'll step out of the picture, even if it takes a few hefty bankers to push her out of the frame. The play-for-fame womb renter (evidence pending) doesn't deserve our concern outside of the harm she is capable of causing. The kids, do, though. Kids--none of us-- deserves to have our DNA, family relationships and humanity exposed, yanked from our control, and broadcast as an international bread and circus. Losing the dad you love is scary enough without being served up as a genetic dog and pony show for the masses.

To that end, I want to point out, Lindsay Greenwalt's A Letter to Prince Michael, Paris and "Blanket" Jackson on her Confessions of a Cryokid blog, telling them (should they read it some day) and us, that they and we are not alone.

By now you have probably heard all the major media outlets advertising that your dad is not your biological father, and that your mom is not your biological mother. I can only imagine how hard this must be, just days after your dad tragically died.,,

But don't feel alone. There are thousands (maybe millions) of kids out there just like you - conceived artificially and denied the right to EVER know who their biological parents are...

Your daddy will always be your daddy, nobody can take that away - and it will take time to mourn his passing. But you also have a biological father out there, and you carry half his genes. His is part of you - he even looks like you! While nothing can mask the loss of your daddy, I hope that your biological father will step up and give you guidance and love, and support through this rough time and as you grow up. You deserve that as children and as human beings....

Cryokids, bastards, anyone who has had their identity engineered by biology, statute, or for-your-own-good should have each other's back. Our families are expansive and so are our arms.

ARTIFICIAL SPERM ON THE MOVE

As if there aren't enough sperm swimming around in search of a comfy home, the BBC reports that scientists in Newcastle have come up with a way to create human sperm in a laboratory. The sperm is developed from stem cell lines taken from leftover human embryos donated for IVF treatment. Go here for the story AND a nifty video showing how it's done.

The idealistic researchers promise that the little swimmers will be used only to help scientists "understand sperm" in order to help infertile men. Lab sperm will not be available for injection by the childless and desperate all-about-me's who don't give a lab rat's ass about the consequences of creating genetic orphans.

The sperm cannot be used for fertility treatment as this is prohibited under UK law. The scientists in Newcastle say it will be at least five years before the technique is perfected - when they believe it should be available to help infertile men.

Just wait for 2014!

BONUS VIDEO: "What Happens During Ejaculation" from Woody Allen's Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex and Were Afraid to Ask.

ADOPTION MUCKETY-MUCKS CONTINUE TO ACT STUPID OVER "ORPHAN"

Focus on the Family's Citizen Link informs us tonight that The Christian Alliance for Orphans has set up Orphans Deserve Better, special webpage for Orphan haters. We mean the movie Orphan, not orphans per se, but once the movie comes out, who knows? The way the anti-Orphan gangbangers are behaving I halfway expect to see mobs in overalls marching house-to-house waving pitchforks and torches hunting down evil orphans.

Especially since our Esther rejects her Christian Alliance for Orphans God-loves-me role:

Did you know that orphans are put on earth specifically to experience God's love. That's what The Christian Alliance

Orphan might even undermine CAO's mission:

Motivate and unify the body of Christ to live out God's mandate to care for the orphan with the vision to have every orphan experience God's unfailing love and know Jesus as Savior.

CAO's Jeff Medfind goes over the top in his Orphans Deserve More video appeal complaining that the film suggests that "orphans are damaged goods and adoption can destroy your life."

Loving an orphan can lift us up from selfish routines and petty concerns and give us a deep joy that no vacation or new car ever could.

Some adoptees, based on their personal experience, would disagree.

The moral panic Orphan has induced is more entertaining than the film itself, which will pass into oblivion and DVD a month after release. The "outrage" is an opportunistic moment for drum banging and fund raising. What better way is there to make publicity and $$$$$ for yourself than to create a victim where none exists? The Orphans Deserve Better website and petition (this is separate from the Boycott "Orphan" Movie petition) is clearly a set-up to collect names for money and conversion.

For once the grand poobah of adoption, the National Council for Adoption, has shown some sense and has refused to get involved. We're expecting to see a PETA campaign any day now, though.

It's a B movie folks! In real life there are real orphans who need real help and real families. These real children are being co-opted by privileged self-righteous do-gooders and Bible oil salesmen pretending they can't tell the difference between real orphans in some poverty stricken orphanage in Cambodia and a pretend orphan in a movie. Are these the people we want promoting orphan care and orphan adoption?

Addenda: Check out Orphans are Scary on MamaPop. Thanks Kurt!

ATLANTA CHURCH WANTS YOU TO LEAVE YOUR BABY WITH IT

So much wingnuttery this week, and more to come. Take, Atlanta's Peachtree Presbyterian Church. Please!

On June 7, Pastor Vic Pentz, late of Princeton and Fuller Theologicals, announced to his surprised congregation his little extralegal "safe haven" plan for it. According to Ministry Today, Pentz promises that the church will care for any newborn baby that's dropped off at the church.

"I make a promise to you now and I don't want you to keep this a secret," Pentz said. "The Peachtree Presbyterian Church will care for any newborn baby you bring to this church. We will be the family to find a home for that child, and there's no limit on this. You can tell your friends, and they can tell their friends. … You can tell the whole world."

If you think I'm joking, go here and download either the video or mp3 . You'll find his offer in the last couple minutes of the ironically named Ethics of Life sermon. WARNING: Go to 54-56 minutes. The more hearty, of course, can sit through an hour of Pentz's praise of Juno and a very odd lecture on the marginalization and shame suffered by today's "unmarried mothers." Must be why adoption agencies are beating away unwed pregos with a stick.

Pentz says that the church will partner with Bethany Christian Services, "which will handle the 'how' of making this happen." A Bethany representative will speak at the church in August.

Upon hearing of his decision, Pentz said, "They (Bethany) just smiled and nodded and said, 'You know, we've been praying for a pastor to stand up and say that. Because we can provide all that support that you promised."

Pentz and Bethany might also consider a little talk with the Georgia Department of Human Resources, too. Or maybe not. If they'll licence the thankfully defunct New Beginnings agency out of Edgewood Baptist Church in Columbus, they'll license a boll weevil. (NOTE: During a liability panel at a NCFA conference I attended a few years ago, the director of New Beginnings said she kept clients from suing the "agency" by making them sign a contract with God promising not to. That didn't stop NB from being sued by angry aparents under civil RICO. Gladney's Heidi Cox looked like she wanted to reach over and bitch slap the woman).

Peggy Baird, the director of adoption services for the non-profit Families First service agency was a bit less impressed than the happy shiny Rev. Pentz. She told WXIA-TV that "while she admired the sentiment, he (Pentz) didn't delve into the legal and psychological complications that go into giving up a child for adoption... I think if he's going to pursue this with his congregation, he's got to do ongoing education."

But hey, what's ethics and best practice when those babies are coming in on a wing and a prayer!

WXIA-TV commenters agree:

Sweezy1:

This is good because some people who may struggle with such a big decision may feel more comfortable going to a church than a typical adoption agency.

My husband and I would love to adopt and feel more comfortable going through a church ourselves. May God bless them and may God bless us.

The next two view pregnant women and new mothers potential killers whose babies can only be saved through Presbyterian intervention:

Briskoe:

Man! You people take things waaaaay too far. The pastor is trying to do something good like, giving mother's another option rather than disposing the baby in a trash can. I think every church, no matter what religion, should offer this service in trying times.

Sargon:
What is the argument? It is either kill the baby or give it a chance for life. I vote for life.]

and my favorite, MikeMidtown, is under the impression that hundreds of abandoned newborns are jammed into Atlanta's church basements already waiting for their forever families to pick them up:

MikeMidtown:
Although I think his heart is in the right place, does he and his church have the qualifications to take care of hundreds of newborns? I believe other churches have tried this, but have failed because they could not handle the large number. This just goes to prove that the abortion/right-to-life issue is not just a bumper sticker slogan or sermon at church.

Next time you go to testify at a hearing, remember this is how the average person thinks that adoption operates.